Blue Heart is closing, but, It's okay.

In order to explain the momentum behind the decision to let Blue Heart Yoga close rather than move to a new location, I need to take you back to where I was when I opened Blue Heart. However, in order for you to understand where I was when I opened Blue Heart, I need to go back to “before.” Before refers to pre-September 2021, a time when I was thriving professionally, doing the fulfilling and inspired work of creating an online yoga school, and an online community of women learning how to apply the wisdom of yoga and the principles of Ayurveda to their daily lives. 

This also refers to a time when I was supporting my husband through multiple rounds of chemotherapy, and a stem cell transplant that appeared to be successful for two glorious months over the summer of 2021. We were basking in the news of Todd’s remission, until we very suddenly weren’t. He was admitted to a hospital in Shreveport on September 1, 2021, and died at home on September 30th.

After Todd died, I had no bandwidth for work. I turned my business over to three capable women, shut down the online studio, and grieved. I spent the two years sifting through the rubble of this life-quake, shepherding my daughters through their grief, and working my way through my own. Repeatedly, I tried to return to yoga, but found access to my yoga brain denied. The decades of knowledge I accrued was unavailable to me. I believed I would never teach yoga again.

I had a breakthrough in therapy shortly after the two year anniversary of Todd‘s passing. After that, I desired to reclaim my yoga practice, but I lacked discipline. I needed a catapult to get from where I was to where I wanted to be.

One morning, while sitting on my mat, not practicing, but reminiscing about preparing and teaching classes at the now closed studio Yoga Krewe, a longing for that space and community arose, followed quickly by the idea to attempt to recreate it. I set out that very afternoon to find a location. I looked at one building and signed a lease before I had any idea what was going to be required of me. A reason to get up, get dressed, leave my house, engage with people, and practice yoga is all I wanted.

Naming the studio Blue Heart was the absolute right way to honor where I was at that time. It symbolized community and my enduring connection to Todd (read about it here), primarily the latter. I was stepping back into public life as a teacher, but still deep in grief. Blue Heart was a safe way to move forward, and keep my grief close, visible, obvious.

In the two years since Blue Heart opened, many things have happened. A community came together. Yoga Krewe teachers and practitioners were reunited. More than a few students discovered yoga and experienced healing. I healed. I gained full access to my yoga brain. Once again, I am enthralled with this practice and these teachings. My bandwidth is now wide enough to not only care for myself, but for all the people in my community. I have the discipline, knowledge, curiosity, and stamina to create the online school I began all those years ago.

While I lament the closing of Blue Heart, I can see from this vantage point that it was not meant to be a permanent thing. The building was always a rental. There was always going to be an end to the lease. My relationship with grief and symbolism was always going to evolve and change. Blue Heart was meant to be a bridge. I have crossed that bridge, and I thank you for crossing it with me. 

Since I opened the studio, my personal life has changed in ways that make returning to a simpler, home-based way of working appealing to me. My daughters have all graduated from high school and moved on to the next chapter in their life adventures. There are rooms in my house sitting empty, asking to be re-purposed. It makes sense to have a home studio rather than pay high rent for a space.

In the summer of 2024, at the age of 52, I was diagnosed with ADHD. Learning about my brain highlights for me that the requirements of running a studio do not align with how I am wired to work. A brick and mortar studio needs a steady hand, consistent attention to multiple moving parts and pieces, and someone who can task switch with ease. That’s not me! 

Perhaps the biggest change is that I am unexpectedly, but over-the moon-happily re-partnered. This is a story for another day, but he and I are building a life together that calls for more flexibility than a brick and mortar business can offer. 

So, Blue Heart is closing, but it’s okay. 

I hope you’ll join me in the new iteration of the old dream of a virtual yoga school! 

Daya Yoga Shala opens online in December 2025. Read more about it here.